the most iconic song lyric will always be
“tell your boyfriend that if he’s got beef that I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fuckin scared of him”
spelling bee moderator: contestant 142, your word is “fergalicious”
contestant: *looks around nervously* um… could i please have a definition?
moderator: *flips through dictionary* “fergalicious. definition: make them boys go loco.”
you walk over to the chamber of secrets and whisper “i have a crush on my cousin”. the basilisk comes over to you and says “you totally misinterpreted the use of this chamber and also you’re pretty fuckin gross”
today i heard 2 kids talking about buying fake IDs after school and so i started eavesdropping cuz u know thats big kid stuff and then one was like “yeah but is all this really worth it like im pretty sure the fake IDs cost more than the fish we r gonna buy”
to buy fish at petco u have to be 18 or older
they were going to get fakes to buy fish
people who exercise in order to get rid of period cramps are the ones surviving the apocalypse.